I’m trying to gather as much information as possible about BG-12. When will it be available? What are the expectations? How does it compare with other treatments in efficacy, side effects and safety? But really, my biggest question is how much is it going to cost and will my insurance company cover it. I’m trying to not get my hopes up again but the idea of not having to routinely jab a needle into myself is too wonderful to let go. So, I will continue to scour the internet and ask questions anywhere that may be able to provide answers. My hopes are already up, I just hope this time is a victory.

I Hate Having MS!

I know my goal for the new year was to be positive, see the silver lining, be grateful, believe in unicorns and wishes made on stars coming true….. Okay, I’m in a bad mood and I’m not feeling too great. My mood is probably what is making me feel bad physically but I have MS and I’m allowed to blame anything on it that I want, especially feeling like crap. Well, not really but today I dare anyone to tell me differently! I am so tired of my insurance company telling me that I’ve exceeded my benefit limit and asking me if I want to talk with a pharmacist to find a more cost-friendly solution, you know, because there is one!?$!# I’m tired of people telling me that my Copaxone is toxic and is only there to line the pockets of “Big Pharma” and the doctors paid to prescribe it. I’m tired of hearing about the recent Gilenya death and how there are surly others that have been covered up. I’m tired of being told that I have a “leaky gut” and that my diet is what caused my MS and changing it is the only way I’ll ever feel better. I’m tired of giving myself a shot. I’m tired of always having a ten thousand dollar balance on my credit card because Copaxone is so freaking expensive. I’m tired of the term “Big Pharma”. Mostly, I’m tired of being tired. It’s exhausting to me to think about the fact there is no cure for MS and that it’s a progressive disease. I want Gilenya to be an option for me both physically and financially. I want the days of jabbing myself with a needle to be over. I want to be able to enjoy fried pickles and a beer without the voices in my head telling me that Dr. Swank and Ann Boroch say these are both taboo. I’m sorry to the two people who read this because who wants to read such crap?! I hope you both are having a better day than I am and I promise to be more upbeat, or informative or at least not so annoying. Maybe I need a nap…..

Please Stop, You’re Making My Forehead Numb!

Is it ever not okay to use your disease to get people to back off? For the first time, I did just that. I haven’t been very vocal or even open about my disease but last week I was so angry and annoyed that I asked people to stop what they were doing because I was physically becoming numb from the stress of the situation. It was something that I never wanted to do and there I was doing it. I have to admit, it felt good. I know that if it weren’t true it would be wrong but if your symptoms are becoming worse because of stress is it okay to point that out to the people who are stressing you out?